She was always willing to help others, such as supporting my brother Mike during his own fight with kidney cancer. But her concern was not limited to family. On Saturday night, my family was privileged to join the Good Sam’s camping club, my parents’ group, for dinner. There the members told us now mom reached out to members or families facing their own struggles with cancer. She offered support by conversations, notes, and letters, all while facing her own struggles with chemotherapy. Mom also won because she left us on her own terms. She lived through Thom’s wedding on August 20 and, thanks to modern technology, was able to see pictures of the wedding the next day. And we know she recognized the pictures because, when my sister Lysa repeated some of them, she told us "I’ve already seen that.” She also lived to celebrate her 52nd Wedding Anniversary with my father, Dick. The 52 roses you see beside her are in honor of their 52 loving years together. Mom also lived to celebrate my 40th birthday on Aug. 23. She did not want to create any shadow or sadness on these days of celebration. We also know that mom’s spirit was ready. Dad had gone to church on Aug. 20 and brought communion back to mom. But, mom often had difficulty swallowing, and she couldn’t receive communion on Saturday or Sunday. Then, on the morning of their anniversary on the 22nd, mom said to my dad, "I’ll be with my parents and Christ today.” Mom and dad then said the Our Father, and Dad gave her last communion to her. She had turned her spirit to God and knew that she would soon be with her parents and with her son Paul, whom she lost as a baby and never got to hold. Mom won because she continued to live even after she was diagnosed with cancer. They took the entire Holbrook family on a trip to Alaska to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. (They went to St. Anne DeBeaupre, Quebec on their honeymoon, and went back on their 50th wedding Anniversary day.) She was able to realize the dream of taking my sister Lysa to New York City for shopping and to see Broadway shows. Indeed, she was able to see one of her favorite actresses, Angela Lansbury, from the 5th Row, Center. She and dad took a cruise down the Danube River so that she could share Budapest and her Hungarian ancestry with Dad. She took a trip to New Orleans, where she was able to partake in that city’s wonderful food and culture, and also were able to meet my partner Namon’s family. There were also their annual trips to Mexico with her brother Bob Schang and his wonderful wife Laurie. Mom won because she raised five independent, stubborn children. She knew that, while our stubbornness may have given her a few grey hairs, it would likely serve us all well in the long run. In fact, when the social worker from the hospice asked mom what she was most proud of, she pointed to the portrait of the five of us that hangs over their fireplace. Mom was incredibly proud of all of us. She also loved the members of the family that we brought to her – Jennifer, Amanda, and Namon. She didn’t love you like her children, because you were her children. She also had seven wonderful grandkids whom she absolutely adored. So, mom did not lose her battle; she didn’t lose anything. How could anyone who lived so fully ever be said to have "lost.” The balloons today are a testament to her life because she wanted us to celebrate her life. In closing, I’ll tell a story from the family’s trip to Alaska. There were 16 Holbrook’s on the trip, which can be a rather intimidating group. At one of the dinners during the cruise, the grandkids all came into the dining room, with jackets and shirts zipped up. Then, all at once, the kids unzipped their jackets to reveal, Superman-style, t-shirts that said "Grandma Kicks Butt!” And she did! As a counselor, grandmother, mother, and wife, Mom, you ROCKED! Tim

If you would like to make a donation to CSI in memory of Mrs. Holbrook, you can contribute to CSI’s General Fund.

Originally published at csi-net.org on February 8, 2012.