Book Being Reviewed:

Gibson, Lindsay C. (2015). Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Kathryn Harvey

Genre:

Self-Help

Codependency; Communication; Family dynamics; Relationships; Trauma

Review:
A common reason clients seek counseling in group or individual settings is because of family conflict and interpersonal difficulties. Dr. Lindsay Gibson’s book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents describes traits and patterns that often begin in childhood and can perpetuate family strife and challenges in other relationships if not named, claimed, and tamed. Gibson explores and validates the common feelings and experiences of people who grew up in emotionally immature environments. Following these reflections, Gibson identifies four types of emotionally immature caregivers that impact children’s upbringing. These categories include emotional (depend on others for stability and coping with emotions), driven (goal directed and vicariously live through children), passive (minimize or avoid difficulty, unpleasant, or challenging parts of life), and rejecting (closed off from family and others). Gibson recognizes that children who have experienced some or all of these types of parenting in their upbringing have understandable reactions to cope with them externally and internally. Finally, the book concludes with strategies to avoid being drawn into emotionally immature behaviors and a guide of how to identify people who are emotionally mature. This book is helpful for clinicians who work with families, adults who have traumatic upbringing, parents, and caregivers as it helps identify healthy and unhealthy emotion regulation patterns. Gibson includes brief assessments and exercises to identify patterns and progress in relationships. The case examples in each chapter are relatable for clients who may be experiencing similar circumstances and trying to cope with emotional immaturity in healthy ways and break the patterns that may be generational.